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relaxation

The only kind of selfcare that’s worth your time

Self Care

Ah, self-care. It’s been a legit buzzword for a while. It’s something we talk about and proclaim is so important… but how many of us really know what it means?

What is self care?

A shower all to yourself?

Enjoying a glass of wine when the kids are finally asleep?

A massage?  An entire spa day?

A phone call with your bestie?  A therapy sesh?

A shopping trip? A shopping trip to Paris?

Honestly, selfcare is gonna mean different things to the same person at different times (think at the end of a long day, vs at the end of a stressful event vs while on vaca).

But I’m here to tell you the most effective self-care thing you can ever do is also the most selfish thing you can ever do!

You need to think of YOU, only you, no one else but you.

As a single mama I know that can be a pretty daunting thing to do. We are hard-wired to put our families first. Our kids get our full attention. Full-time jobs, part-time jobs, errands, cleaning, dinner, scheduling… it’s a never-ending pull that pushes our boundaries and has us exhausted before we are able to sit and take a deep breath.

But fuck it hunny, you NEED to stop the maddess already!

listen, being exhausted at the end of every day is going to result in being exhausted at the end of your life too.

So I need you to start thinking about you and I need you to think big.

I mean big ass big!

I’m talking about an entire spa day and hotel stay at the end of it all with room service. I’m talking about a yoga retreat in Costa Rica. I’m talking about that botox treatment or laser hair removal you’ve been dreaming about. (obviously only if you’ve been dreaming about it 😉 ). If your most selfish thought for yourself is not a trip out of the country that’s fine… but you do you and you do you big!

Big-ticket activities like these are super important to our self-care because they bump up our self-love bank and force us to elevate our baseline energy levels to a new normal. These activities need to take us from where we are now (overwhelmed, exhausted, depressed, irritated, etc) to totally rejuvenated.

Not just a little relaxed.

Not just a little break.

But your soul needs to feel it! This is NOT an evening glass of wine or 90 min massage… this is more much more!

Now even though I 100% support doing these big-ticket self-care activities as often as possible, you gotta know I don’t expect anyone to be able to do them all the time!

So what do we do in between these massive fill your cup activities?

The 2nd most effective selfcare activity you’ve gotta do is one you’ve got to do every day. And yes, again, I know how daunting that can be… but girl it needs to be

E . V . E . R . Y . D . A . M . N . D . A . Y .

This IS an evening glass of wine or 90 min massage.

Things like an evening bath, a daily workout, a good run or yoga sesh.

A coffee walk and gab sesh with your bestie.

A DIY facemask and romcom.

A long drive in the country while listening to your fav crime podcast.

These are smaller activities and much easier to fit in daily, but they need to be done daily and maybe even more importantly they need to be done intentionally.

yes daily. yes intentionally.

Listen… there can, at no time, be the feeling of dread or guilt or resentment when doing these things. It must always always always be an act of love to and for yourself.

Otherwise, what’s the fu*kin’ point!??!

what can you add to your day big and small to add to your self-love bucket?

xox

Tamara

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